May/2004: Spirituality - There aren't many things I envy the religious over. Sure, they get to think that there is something better to go on to experiencing, but I don't envy that. If I thought there were a heaven, I'd be doing everything I could to speed that ride up. I'd eat unhealthy food, not exercise, drink lots of soda, not go to the doctor and...

Wait... nevermind.

Anyways, I'd try to speed it up. That probably explains why so many Christians do crazy shit like sky-diving, rock-climbing, and friend-making. They're just thinking... "Well, I will pull the rip-cord, but if that parachute doesn't come out... it's not suicide. Hee-hee!" You won't see this Atheist hopping out of a plane to spin with a snowboard. No. I don't even jump. That's how much of a thrill-seeker I am not. I have no heaven to go onto, so I won't be doing things that could end up with my possible death.

So I don't even envy their immortality beliefs. I don't envy their "gathering of so many like-minded people", because if I were religious, I would chaff at the fake-pious. You know, that drunkard that beats his wife but still goes to Church while doing so. That guy. It would be hard to trust such a similar group, as so many go astray and don't care.

After that, not much to envy from an Atheistic perspective. Except one thing...

I have indignation. I want righteous indignation.

I can't have that. I can't be "righteous."

That sucks.

I want to tell people that they're going to hell.

And, I want to mean it.

Think about it, Atheist or not, the idea of telling someone to go to hell is absolutely divine. There is no worse place to tell someone to go. Really think about it. You're telling them that you want or think that they're going to go to an everlasting purgatory of pain and solitude. That's extreme. "Fuck you" doesn't really do it. "You're a piece of shit" is tame compared to that.

And that doesn't even address the best use of "You're going to hell!"

To purposely annoy sinners and just annoying people. I really want to go to a party and tell a drunkard that his drinking will lead him to hades. "You're going to hell doing that!" That guy talking about sleeping around so much? "You're going to hell, save yourself." It's so high-minded and arrogant. I want to do that. I want to sit in judgement of people. Yeah, you're not supposed to judge, but the majority of Christians I know have told me that I'm going to hell for being an Atheist, so I don't think that rule applies to the "you're going to hell" statement.

I'd even use it inappropriately. Say, some annoying petitioner with a petition I don't like? "YOu're going to go to hell, son. Save yourself." Friend who is arguing with me? A random you're going to hell in jest would be fun. You're going to hell! Your path will lead you straight to hell! Hell is where you're bound, jerk!

We Atheists need something equivalent. A good sentence that packs the same punch. The problem is, we don't have anything nearly as bad in idea to tell people they're going to. "You're going to the Laundromat!" doesn't pack the same punch. Sure, it's a terrible place, but they know they're not going to the Laundromat. And even if they did, they could just leave. You don't have to stay there.

Hell? You ain't leaving. It's everlasting. You're done, it's over.

Sigh.

Stuck with plain ol' indignation.