A quick chatmag-induced repost...

May/2004: Repost - Recently, the fine staff at chatmag, a website devoted to "the news of chat" (excitement!) outed the reason why I do Perverted-Justice.com. Seriously, the guy totally figured me out. I have a confession, everyone. I do Perverted-Justice.com to be a famous person. To be a celebrity! To be The Notorious X.V.E. I did not think I would have to admit this, but the investigative work of one site has figured out my TRUE intentions!

First they start off with this line...
We also recommend that news organizations more fully research Perverted-Justice prior to airing or printing any information regarding this group.

This is very good advice. I had not counted on news organizations visiting my personal homepage. Here I am, with all this sensitive information on my homepage! I can't believe someone did the arduous "research" of clicking the link from my PeeJ staff profile to this site! My secret diabolical scheme is foiled by chatmag's tremendous research abilities!

Here is what the investigative genius at chatmag found out!
The owner of Perverted-Justice also operates angrygerman.com

Holy #$^%! The secret is out! OH $*$#!!!!

A look at his home page clearly demonstrates this person is not an Internet Professional, but a person seeking notoriety.

Yes, because nothing says "guy trying to be famous" like a quasi-blog that gets 100 hits a day.

The site is chock full of rantings, profanities, and sexual innuendo.

I will admit that I rant and curse, but where in the world is the sexual innuendo? I think I need to read my site closer, I haven't seen the sexual innuendo yet. I wish someone would tap me on the shoulder and show me the sexual innuendo. In fact, if any of you thousands of ladies are nearby, you can show me as much sexual innuendo as possible.

Hey, wait... the above was sexual innuendo! I found some! It's true!

He begins his site by posting:

Oh, trust me, if this wasn't good before, it gets good now.

"Random Thoughts - Look, when you get to be El Gigante Intwardnet Celebitty like I am, you get accustomed to mailbags and mailbags of fanmail. Trust me, it comes by the boatload. In fact, just this week I got a few pieces of stellar fanmail. To give you fine peons a look at the life of a BIGGIE TIME website-guy, I figured I'd reprint a few for you."

He actually took the above blurb seriously. Just re-reading that paragraph I wrote, I had to go get a new towel to wipe the flood of sarcasm off of my body, and this schmuck took it seriously! I don't know which is dumber, a side of beef in a KC paper calling me a nazi over my personal homepage that features a "friend of Israel" button promeniently, or this goof at chatmag actually taking the quoted paragraph seriously.

In my time of doing my homepage, I have received probably ten pieces of email about it. Hell, the thing would not get any hits if it weren't for the fact that I once made fun of a few rap songs. Shout out at you guys Googling Little Kim song lyrics! Whuzzup!!!

Obviously the Perverted-Justice site is designed as an ego boost, and not a legitimate site to thwart online predators.

It's true, it's true. In the end, I must admit it. The hours, upon hours, upon hours I put into PeeJ? It's all to get a hundred hits a day on my personal homepage and to become a celebrity. It's true, no, don't shake your head disbelievingly, it is true. It is! I can prove it, for you few doubters out there.

What follows is proof that I am only after notoriety!

Here I am talking to Alanis Morrisette and Alan Rickman!

As soon as Stan Lee learned I ran a website, he came over to hang out!

This is Ben Affleck telling me how famous I am!

Who can argue with pictures? You certainly can't. The above is irrefutable evidence that I am simply running websites in order to become famous and be notorious. Let's be honest here, there are no bigger celebrities than webmasters. We all know that. Not just anyone can be a webmaster. When you walk around, people look at you and go "omg... you're a webmaster! I saw your website! *throws panties*"

Think of all those other famous webmasters. Herb Brooks of Indiana. Michael Casner of South Dakota. Jackson Beljohnson of Vermont. These are names we know, love and adore. Who didn't catch Herb Brooks live in coding during his national coding tour? I sat there in awe for two hours as he typed out HTML. Herb Brooks, typing out HTML! It was the greatest moment of my life, and I only paid 34.95 for nosebleed seats. Luckily, my binoculars caught EVERY keystroke. Do you know he reaches with his left hand for the Y key? I couldn't believe it, what technique.

It is a true relief that people now know the truth, that I am running an Anti-Groomer website in order to be famous. In order to be like all those other larger than life webmaster icons that we all know and love. To be on the cover of People magazine. To do my own coding national tour. To have panties randomly thrown at me. To fuck webmaster groupies. To do drugs and trash hotel rooms.

Yes, that is the life of a webmaster. That is why I do what I do. To live that jet-set lifestyle.

I am a webmaster. Feel that fame.